How Do You Respond to Near Death Experiences? Me: Chicken McNuggets.

Saturday I was driving back downtown from Glendale, and exiting off the 110 at 4th avenue.  These details really only matter to someone who is familiar with that part of the 110.  There are 3 lanes that exit off at once— one to 3rd, one to 4th, and one to 6th/Wilshire.  I was driving back from getting my car serviced, which took a lot longer than I expected (booo) and they did not give me the car wash I expected (double boo!).  I also hadn’t had any coffee yet, and I was hungry.  However, none of these factors were affecting my driving.  I was minding my own business driving in the proper lane to exit on 4th avenue when BOOM!  Suddenly the giant escalade in the lane next to me (exit for 6th) decided it wanted to come into my lane.  Instinctively, I jerked over to the right to try to not get hit by the escalade.  Then, I realized the right of me was a cement wall, so I slammed on my brakes which caused me to fishtail.  But miraculously (1) there was no collision with the escalade; (2) I did not slam into a cement wall; and (3) nobody was behind me when I abruptly slammed on my brakes.

Nonetheless, I was freaked out!  (Also VERY mad that the escalade didn’t even slow down or try to make some sort of “sorry I almost killed you” gesture).  How did I respond?  Well, first by tearing up a little because I’m a girl, and then my sucking it up and continuing my drive into work.  I went to McDonalds because Starbucks was closed, and all I was hoping for was an iced coffee (I know I said I’m over starbucks but a near death experience causes one to rethink priorities when coffee is in order).  But they were OUT of iced coffee.  So, for some reason, I panicked, and decided that instead of iced coffee I’d take a six piece chicken nugget meal with fries and a coke.

There is a ridiculous number of things that were wrong with that decision, not the least of which is the fact that I’ve been trying to be a vegetarian for the last several months.  I tried to reassure myself that the chicken nuggets probably aren’t even chicken.. but I honestly don’t know if that makes it better or worse.  I won’t lie to you though.  I didn’t finish the meal and think, “that tasted so disgusting and gross.  I will never do that again.”  I ended the meal thinking, “ok, that was super delicious but also super AWFUL, and I’m not going to make that decision again… at least not on a regular basis.”  Seriously people.  McDonalds is so, so, so, so bad for you.  Even those ridiculously good tasting fries.  And that whole “everything in moderation” line does not work for McDonalds, because I’m pretty sure even just the occasional box of those crack french fries will kill you. But I guess when you are a somewhat morbid girl like me, and you feel like you almost died, you think things like “well, I know that technically these fries are about the worst thing I could eat.  But since I am lucky to be alive, I can justify the french fries.”   I’m such a rebel.

More to write about later, but I just wanted to get that lovely story out there while I’m up with insomnia at 1:30am.

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2 thoughts on “How Do You Respond to Near Death Experiences? Me: Chicken McNuggets.

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