While my experience abroad has been been amazing, and I wouldn’t trade it for almost anything, it isn’t ending on the high note I had hoped for.
It’s a really weird reality that life can end so unexpectedly, that any person could be gone in a moment. We hear about sudden, unexpected deaths every day. Yesterday, a jet crashed into a house in a residential neighborhood in San Diego, California, killing several people. How incredibly insane, sad, and unexpected is that? However, this post is not about what happened in San Diego yesterday. My point in bringing up that story is that despite hearing about random, unexpected deaths all of the time, it’s never quite real until it actually happens to someone you know.
I have experienced the death of someone I knew well for the first time in my life this week. I suppose you could call that “lucky” (that I’ve made it this far without experiencing such a loss). I’ve experienced the deaths of a grandmother, and 3 great grandparents, but in each of their cases I wasn’t very close to them, and while I was sad at the time, it was a long time coming because they were older, and had poor health, and I was able to make peace with it quite easily.
When it’s someone that you’ve spent quite a bit of time with, and feel like you know rather well, it’s much more shocking and difficult to deal with. Even though this person was not “young” in calendar years, he was young at heart and very healthy. I feel crushed, and my grieving has got to be only miniscule compared to those who were actually very close to him.
I don’t mean to be cryptic here, but I know the family appreciates their privacy right now, and it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to break their news via a public blog, even though most people who read this don’t know the family in question. I am trying my best to hold myself together here in London and finish my exams, but my heart is in the States.