I’m just a couple of weeks out from finals right now. Kind of out of nowhere I’ve been hit by this overwhelming feeling of homesickness. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I’m most likely not going to be traveling anymore so the adventure is gone, and I’m extremely behind in 2 of my classes so I really have to buckle down and work, work, work over the next couple of weeks so I’m not really going to be out enjoying London either. Also, the uncertainty of Atlanta vs. L.A. vs. “do I even want to stay in L.A.?” is getting to me as well.
Whatever the reason, I really, really miss home. Portland is so clean, and nice. And people whine about how it rains all the time, but that just makes it really clean and green (AND PREVENTS RAGING FIRES THAT BURN DOWN HOMES AND “PARALYZE” PEOPLE FOR DAYS LIKE IN L.A.). The cost of living is better, the traffic is better, most of my friends and family are all there… Ah! I also just really miss being able to talk to people back home. I have a cell here, but it costs a lot to call anyone (including anyone in the UK) so I primarily use it for texting or very short phone calls of the “where/when should we meet up/what is the reading for tomorrow” variety. I also didn’t get my typical “fall visit home to Portland” trip this fall like I normally do which means I’ve been gone longer than I ever have. Ah! People keep asking me if I plan to go back to Portland, and believe me I would LOVE to go back to Portland. I am not sure at this point career-wise what the best move for me is in the initial years after law school, but I would LOVE to come back to Portland pronto if given the appropriate chance. I’ve never met a person who has been to Portland who said “wow, that city sucked.” Everyone always has very good things to say. So everyone in Portland: feel very lucky that you live in the best place in the U.S.A.! 😉
Anyway, as I mentioned, it’s buckle down time. Somehow, I’ve been blessed with an amazing ability to get an insane amount of work done in a very short time when I am very stressed out. This means that although I haven’t read since the first couple of weeks for 2 of my 3 classes, I will have it all read and my outlines all done by the end of Thanksgiving weekend as planned. Now, whether I will still be able to do the same on exams as I do in a regular semester (where I actually generally read for classes) will be another story. Our classes are very small here in London, and they are packed with very smart people and very good test takers which means the curve is most likely going to be pretty tough. However, regardless of how I do (assuming my grades don’t drastically plummet in which case I would be pretty ashamed of myself) I think it’s all worth it for the experience of getting to live outside of the U.S. for a few months and travel around to see places I never thought I’d see.
During finals season I always have these morbid thoughts about how if I were to die sometime soon (during or after finals) it would really suck that I spent my last several days of life studying all the time. I’ve thought about that regarding this semester, and I know later on down the road I will not regret not studying more this semester. However, I would regret it if I had stayed in my room studying all the time and never got out to travel. Basically what I’m saying is… I excuse my procrastination 🙂